Last month has been hectic, resulting in high levels of emotion. I felt relapsing one day and uplifted the next, then followed by another heady day. It takes courage and determination to actively pick up the energies and neutralise them, also to observe with compassion those inner dialogues. Adopting to the emotional fluidity felt difficult either when left alone or in engaging with others.
Throughout the month, questioning what made me feel good and what didn’t, seemed like a conscious underflow in my psyche igniting me to perceive and accept but at the same time to not disrespect my own needs or others. The physical and emotional sensitivities kept bringing me closer to myself by gently forcing me to confide in breathing and tune in meditation.
Circumstances and dynamics gradually synchronised and led me to stay on my own at a house situated in the mountain forest and finally rest. That sunny, early morning I had coffee and watermelon for breakfast then took a little walk around the house and up the little forest hill while I playfully imitated bird and cricket sounds until to a point where I started feeling irrelevant to my surroundings and to myself. I headed back to the house were I sat on the deck and began inhaling the view so I could fully participate in the present moment and pierce through the noise. Breathing in and out, I opened up my vortices —allowing the breeze to swirl my senses as I went up, travelling through the planes.
At the peak of my meditative state I felt contentment, a certain kind of natural high. I opened my eyes, and in those moments where your sight is in the process of adjusting and filling in the visual gaps, I realised how I was smoothly tuning in back into the matrix of earthly sensation — earth as a womb containing all things and further contained in a cosmic hologram. I observed everything happening around me with joy and understanding. There are Suns behind Suns, I thought.
That morning a heavy summer rain that lasted for about an hour guided me through the perfect grounding process, infusing me with rejuvenation.